Trail of Light

We sat in a crowded church on an uncrowded pew on Christmas Eve. The crowd triggered my anxiety but having a pew mostly to ourselves comforted me. At the end of the service, the pastor pointed out a small privilege we take for granted in this modern world – automatic street lights. As the sunContinue reading “Trail of Light”

Be Gentle

I’m in the trenches over here trying to learn about self-compassion and how to ask for what I need. Having a conversation about things I need from others for my own emotional well-being takes my body to panic attack levels because past life experiences programmed me to believe my emotional needs make me weak. Unlearning is difficult.

This season is teaching me a little bit about gentle self-love and compassion.

Sweet as “Mom”

I grew up calling Shannon “Mom” because that’s what Daddy and all his siblings called her. That’s what we, all of her grandchildren, called her. She died this year as the leaves of October peaked. I didn’t get to say goodbye or hold her soft hands or thank her for loving me or to whisper,Continue reading “Sweet as “Mom””

Brave Heart

When the heart is full of pain life feels more tender.  Or maybe when the heart  is more tender  life is full of pain. Grief is as complex  as a sunflower like the seeds of its center one memory developing the next. The heart longing for the  yellow blossoms of light. Sometimes the heart  missesContinue reading “Brave Heart”

Ghost Hugs

I ascended the front porch steps and grabbed the science curriculum. I agreed to tutor my fifth grade nephew. His three brothers and he became homeschoolers in August out of necessity not choice. Their mother, my sister-in-law, is chronically ill. Her body may or may not survive the vaccine. Her body can’t risk COVID-19. WeContinue reading “Ghost Hugs”

Pipedream Blessings

Like a kid wishing for a snow day, I was a teacher wishing for a pipedream – just enough severe weather to get us an e-learning day. Maybe some high winds so buses wouldn’t be able to operate. All the weather apps and news reports were warning of high winds, hail, and severe thunderstorms withContinue reading “Pipedream Blessings”