Thank you, busyness

I hate being busy. I admit it. The older I get the more I enjoy slowing down, and some days I would just prefer to stop. As a younger woman, I had so much drive and ambition to get all the accolades and do all the things. As an almost 40 year old woman, I’m over it.

Don’t get me wrong. I still care about doing a good job and being successful. I just don’t care about being the best at it anymore. I am still a people pleaser, but I am also learning that a career is simply a financial exchange. I give my time in exchange for money to pay my bills. Really that’s it. It doesn’t have to be more than that. I used to think a career needed to be fulfilling and impactful. I’m learning it doesn’t. There are ways to find fulfillment and to make an impact outside of a career.

I’m thankful for this incredibly busy season in life because it reminds me daily that it really isn’t the life I most enjoy. The last two years have been all about exploration and really reflecting on what I want to do with my life and what I want my life to be. My next life steps are still unclear to me. Like, it’s really hard to make intentional life decisions when you’re unclear what life you want, but I’ll get there.

Constant busyness stresses me out. I realize there are verses of life that play a faster rhythm, but at some point, that verse should lead into another or end completely making way for a whole new song.

In this very needed chapter of life, I’m grateful for the busyness. It’s driving me absolutely batty, but it’s also teaching me what I really want and need in life. It’s helping me find clarity, and I’m hoping and praying this clarity helps me make some big decisions in the coming months.